you know you like it its calling your name.

i am a renegadeee
ive never been afraiddddd.

screw work.

lets all just stay at home all day in bed with warm covers and sweet dreams.

its like running
trees whipping past
muscles gripping tight
and a heart skipping beats

at the end of the day
we'll all figure it out



sleeping alone is only for rainy days.

that summer rain its in your face again

i take pictures.

sooo i only paid 140 of my 250 phone bill. anddd even though they said that it wouldn't be turned off IT WASSSS.

so i'm phoneless. and that really SUCKS. especially since i don't have a car so i have to rely on others now for a ride and i get weird if my ride doesn't show up or i don't know if i'm going to be picked up.

its weird to think how much of my life revolves around my damn cell phone! wow. lulz.

last night i was EXHAUSTED. i ended up getting that "i'm so tired i should basically be drunk" feeling and ended up saying things i wouldn't normally say!

it happens from time to time. haha





does anyone remember that song
"I WANNA SINK TO THE BOTTOM WITH YOUUUUUUU?"

i think it was fountains of wayne?

yay for random thoughts. <3

imma get online and stream musics.

cold cold water

so i've always called mirah my favorite musician of all time but i could never get into "cold cold water."

turns out its my new favorite.

i think i couldn't get into it because it reminded me of that damn damien rice song that i didn't like. o.o

anyway, here are the lyrics because i think they are beautiful.

"I saddled up my pony right
and rode into the ghostly night
it was wide, wide open, wide, wide open

I left the only home I knew
I stayed alive and I found you
now I take you where the water's deep
and make the air you breathe so sweet

but is it not enough to be complete? please?
let me give you everything you need, please?

we found a way, we found a street
directions sweat under the sheets
and I let you have it, let you have it

but it can be a lonely place
desire comes, desire fades
there's a bright one caught your fancy eye
it's okay so long as you stay mine

and I'm so number one that it's a shame, a shame
that you let other numbers in the game

now I suffer for your hungry eye
oh why must it see more than mine?
it's a light you're after, 'cause light moves faster

but when I ride again into the night
my torch will shoot flames strong and bright
and my absence will remind you of
how tough it is to be in love

and it's not what I think it's what you say, hey
and it works great for you to have your way, hey

but if the west can be a desperate place
you search all day for just a taste
of the cold, cold water, cold, cold water

and if you think I've gone too long
listen the sky will sing this song
as it burns up all the memories
that flow like water out of me"

beginning of the day

and i still just want to crawl in bed.

please remind me

not to stay up late and drink on days that i have to open.
UGH.

so i figured now would be a good time to write something on here being that 1. i am coherent and 2. i can't get on sl because i'm downloading too much shit.

so YAY! good morning! we have a new great president!

this past week has been VERY strange. like weird shit happening all over the place. just shows more reasons to stick close to the people you love though.

my best friend kami and i have made our december 2012 plans! haha. we're going to have this huge party out in the middle of no where so if we DO die we die TOGETHER. if we don't then we had one hell of a party and we made the best of the previous 4 years just in case we did die.

i had so much more to put in here and i can't remember it now for the life of me. i was distracted by my REPAIRED TV! no more tv switching channels by itself and turning off and on by itself! HI5.

i have these very strange bite marks on my neck and they are really sore.
i always get weird bites D:

maybe i don't REALLY have a lot to discuss in here because i'm just sitting here stairing at this screen.

go me.

<3

i come from space.

sorry the pics suck, rance.
I'LL TAKE BETTER ONES LATER.

237

i've lost my picture taking ability, but i promise i'll have better pics of rance and me soon haha.

and if any of you get the chance, go hear rance alva dj, yo.

he's pretty awesome kthxbai.


its sunday. its my day off.
sl was boring so i logged off.
so sitting here listening to musics will suffice.

i haven't listened to q and not u in a while. brings back memories.

prolly gonna finish this book i'm reading then head on over for sunday at kamis. <3

adiossssssssss.

halloweeeeen.

tonight karma found my dream house and i'm sad that i cant have it.
i want tall ceilings and old sturdy walls with wood floors and big windows.

D:

i love old vs. new. the feeling of something with history mixed with something new.
its just beautiful to me o.o

my bed is nice and warm. comforting and sturdy. soft and humble.

i love my bed but yet i hate sleep?

ahh but i don't hate sleep. i just hate falling asleep alone.

sleep can be so lonely.

who wouldn't want someone to warm the covers for them.

but my feet are like little ice cubes. you'd jump if you felt them against your warm legs!

i think my future is bright. i can feel happiness lurking in my future, my life always kind and dreamy.

i need sleep!


goodnight xD

p.s.

half asleep.
i has this to say.

DEAR ____.
I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU.
CAN I MAKE YOU VEGAN MUFFINS IN A DEHYDRATOR AND GIVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS?
KTHX <3




wow
am i gonna regret that in the morning?

does your money love you does your money fuck you

sorry for the excess in rl pics and the lack of my normal sl pics. i just haven't taken any recently.

BUT KARMA GRAVES IS BACK!

soooo that means more pics coming sooon <3

i'm so fucking exhausted. too much work! too little sleep!!

i really need to fix my sleeping patterns.

butttt imma wake up early and hang out with karmaz in the morningggg woowoo <3

ilygoodnight.

a long ledge of grass works its way through the edge of the water and this is where my short knobby feet pitter-patter across dipped green and brown slush earth. dawn is always such an awakening. the sun rising always surprising even with its steadfast timer ticking and tocking in our bodies, its music and life dedicating itself to our cold nimble shoulders giving us the chance to really breathe again.

"and this is where my forrest would be," my brain actively accepting your coming. your fingers drapped in mine as we walk through the path the trees have made for us.




i'm dreaming of marbles again, twilering their way around our bodies.


asleep.

10 hours of fucking drinking.
80 bux wasted on alcohol.

i think i'm spent.

i should know better then to think that once i start i can stop.

soooo i need to take a drinking break.


punch me in the fucking face next time i drink in the next week.

please and thank you.

can't you get us out in the mean time.

i'd like to take this time to say that i really do love thieves like us. i need their cd to be released so i can buy it and dance in my car to it.

i had a stupid dumb rl work meeting this morning which means my sleep schedule was WAY off last night. i got on sl at like 10. took a nap at 11:30. woke up at midnight. tried to stay up but i didn't last so i went to bed. woke up at 3. stayed up for a while. went to be at 4. woke up at 6 was on sl until 7 went to work at 7:30. yeahhhh.

my body is all messed up from my fucked up sleeping patterns.

so BASICALLY i missed my entire cassie reunion.
/me fails.

i need linden. i wish i was rich irl and could afford linden.

screw you bills. i just wanna play.

being relaxed and letting it breathe.

i started listening to rogue wave again.
its good, yo.
going out of town tomorrow.

said i was going to bed but i think i'm going to reinstall the sims 2 on my pc.

we'll see.

maybe i'll read and write instead :D

in order to install the disks on my pc i need the code for them which is saved in a notecard on sl so i prolly won't add the sims in after all. not tonight at least.

el perro del mar is also amazing. i haven't listened to them in a LONG time.

maybe i am actually SLEEPY for change. maybe i should dl a movie and watch that shit rather then just sit here typing every thought in my head xD

when karma comes back we're gonna work on fixing up our gallery/music hangout.

it could be sweeeeeet <3


GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY TO THE WORLDDDDDDDD.
listen to el perro del mar. seriously. <3



xxxxxxxx

goodnight my sweet dreams
of cotton candy kisses and
midnight dancing on treetops
in wind
i will fill your belly with my
pronounced words and
feverish flesh
for tomorrow is going to be
just perfect
or the next or
the day after that




it still hurts i guess.

velella velella.

we'll stop running when we run out of time
but with time comes time and time and more
chances and choices and
things that tear you apart

and i won't tear you apart.

district sleeps alone at night.

oh sleepless nights! why am i so comfortable to your fingertips?!
3am. still no sleep.
got drunk. danced. felt good. came home. can't sleep.

go figure.

cold cold bed. cold cold weather.

be my blanket and i'll give you a dollar.
give me a kiss and i'll make it ten.

goodnight world.

that cute photos is from mah emiface/konekolove.
the club/gallery is looking fucking awesome and i am REALLY excited about it.
last night i was so tired i was making absolutely no sense what so ever.

i'm streaming musics and have been all night. karma is prolly like "GAWD WHERE IS MY MUSIC" because my musics are on random and thats just not all his music haha.

i should log in at some point soon.

well i should do a lot of things actually.

___


we went to sleep with nothing and everything to say all at once.
it was a dream!
a fear!
a memory!!!!

good days happen everyday.
you just gotta find it in there.

october.

the truth is that i just haven't taken many photos recently.
wtf is up with that?!
typically i'm all about the photos.

it is a tuesday night. well wednesday early morning now. two fucking thirteen in the morning. im having so many issues sleeping. it just isn't working on me.

ive been writing up a storm but i'm so tired that i don't want to move to get it but i still can't sleep? i'm so sleepy that i'm closing my eyes while writing this and don't fully know what i'm saying or what is going on. i'm at that point wehre i'm so sleepy im sounding drunk. i'm not even looking at the computer screen anymore. just clsoing my eyes looking for wait i'm not sure what i just typed.
thats how sleepy i am.

wow.


karmas build is fucking amazing. i cant wait for people to see it and be like 'wow, this IS really awesome."

cat power makes me sleepy and comfortable.

i write tons i have a feeling everyone going to hate the nonsense in here.


i will close my eyes and block my eyes and just... fall asleep.

alones.

i can fit you all in my bed <3

sharpen my body like a pen.

i was standing watching seasons.

i had a dream!

i just realized maybe i should update this more often.

1) there is no eeka + yele anymore.

2) alcohol is still amazing.

3) i think i'm pretty happy.


♥

early.

i'm not wide awake, but it is morning
my feet tingling under my body screaming
WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
eyelids skillfully sliding their way open
eyes screaming for dark again
sliding closed once more
it is simply too early, my
inner tells me dreams swooshing back
into place as i start plundering
head first in the syrupy beginnings of
sleep once more

not today
must wake up
because today is the day we
revive relive and release
fly up fall down and jump 10x higher

today is the day we reach the moon with our
ink stained fingers and our
ratatat beating hearts

today we will live forever


so wake up sleepy body
lazy fingers
cozy toes

it is time to wake up

i'm just so tired.


screw you real life.

tonight.

it was there that the seasons divided.

it was here that i drank and dreamed and derailed.

we all forgot.

what life was like after the end.

someone is waiting.

Someone is waiting to swallow all the halos out of you
As your face blows through my windows
Sending pieces flying all around my room

And I love you and I want to
Shoot all the super heroes from your skies
Watch them bleeding
From your ceiling
As their empty anger falls out from their eyes
All alone...



((neutral milk hotel))

keep your head up.

its a twisting devotion
a dedication to something greater
that escapes when we all whisper
when we all create.

synthetic flying machine.

we were young when we learned to fly, our wings barely able to reach for the stars.
but we soared, our hearts beating straight for the heavens as our fingers aimed upwards, pinkies grazing each other every so often.

love you.

i need rain boots.

because you never know when it is going to rain in second life.

gangstarrr

to tha maxx

hope to see you there

i spent all my linden yesterday

but i think it was well worth it.

my yele looks yums <3

you set a fire to me.

so i held things together last night which surprises me.
eneka quit. darby was a no show.

so thanks to darn, we held it down, and held it down well!
had lots and lots of people there so thats a plus :D

then elzz had a photo shoot for me but i ended up taking photos of myself that i thought came out cutes.

now i'm listening to musics and downloaded even more.

<3
I'D RATHER DANCE I'D RATHER DANCE THEN TALK WITH YOUUUUUU

sorry. i had listened to kings of convenience in a long time.

mighty morphin power eekaaaaa.

eww a non windlight picture?? HOW UGLY!!

but yeah i was djing.

i feel bad. i couldn't get back on sl last night to do my 2nd set.

I'M SORRY I'M SO HORRIBLE!

i had a good time last night of course until the mean builders from the sandbox across the way decided to come and be mean and blast their musics on voice.

DDD:


im sensitive hahahaha.

same face

i remember my feet dangling under my body and my heart pounding, never defiant but sometimes skipping a beat or two. elevated in a quiet bliss i would close my eyes and imagine what could happen the next day. a year from now. a decade more. maybe i knew the further i went the closer i'd be.
and at night when the stars were harnessed in the night sky, burning in an irrevocable glory, i'd wish. i'd pray. and i'd dream.
maybe that is where it started. where this drilling in my heart came from of something grand and covered in tiny jewels of love.
to hold each day in an inescapable and desirable afterlife is a dream come true.
and even if it is not yet tangible, each day is closer then the day before.



and if we were to love more then we ever loved before it would be whole, ruthless, and perfect.


my thoughts are driving me towards sleep. my lack of sleep is slowly gnawing at my soul. i can't sleep. never. i toss and turn upset that i cannot be held. that i cannot feel the touch of love.
but i'm still drawn to you more then ever.


i am probably making no sense but i do not care. i'm just typing, seeing where the words will take me.


when i woke up today i did not want to wake up. but then again, wouldn't anyone want to stay asleep, dreaming of something sweet and syrup filled?

i'm exhausted.

***



it was a long drive. longer then had ever been expected. her feet were burning beneath her, lightly pressing against the gas petal. then the break. it was smooth though. and her trip was nearly done. but where was she going? would she break free, her organs escaping their encasement, her love releasing into the stars? or would she end up right where she had left off, trapped forever in an unstoppable cyclone filled with fury and demand?
she speeds she stops and thinks. she could be anywhere by now. and this is what tickled her. what kept her smiling.

in the end we end up where we are meant.

and in the end i'll end up with you.
<3

hide with me under the covers because you are my love

(♥)

something in the deli aisle.

today is hot. like really hot. like i want to go lay in a freezer for a couple of hours before i can do anything hot. and because it is hot this means i do not feel like getting on sl just yet.

however i did have time to get on and take a few photos seen above.

<3

birthday massacres.

i know i know this picture is not done being edited but whatever.

ss and i died this morning from a fashion explosion. apparently, the hard hat that both he and i appear to be wearing in this photo, was too fashionably charged that not even our stylish selves could handle it. lucky for you though, we were both able to brings ourselves back to life and shop at some more stylish places.


the end.


and new rave glasses from royal blue ftw <3
((LOVE YOU MARNI!))

late night tea parties.

i could not sleep for the life of me last night. so i decided to get back on sl in the middle of the night.
well my 1:30 am to be exact.

and i got to dance with kone and shutterbug a bit at the win for the end of darn's punk set. ((and i must mention that he ended his punk set with PORTISHEAD! hahah what a mix)).

after that i decided kone and i neeeeeded to go rp. but i started to get tired.

after seeing some kids drive away in a school bus, SS got on so i went to take a peek at his new furniture. and he's right, it really does kick ass!!

after that we went to nylon to shops and discussed all the people we once knew and how its so funny we didn't ever like, talk back in the day. ((i met him a good year ago or so, once or twice, and never said a word to him)).

and then i went to sleeps.

and now i'm awake.

go me.

stella was a diver.

stella i love you stella i love you stella i LOVE you

i can't stop listening to interpol all of a sudden.

in between my junior and senior years of high school so i guess 2003, i purchased the Turn off the Bright Lights CD. by far one of my favorites.

so. honestly. i've just been so blah. i don't want to get on sl. i don't wanna meet people. i am sl depressed if that is even possible. i get anxious being in one place for hours on end. but i don't want to go out.

it is so strange. i'm not sure what is going on...

***
and with a sudden shot to the head she was down, her body sprawled out on pavement like the bloody carcass of a deer on the side of the road in november.


she enjoys it too much though.

synopse.

i've been getting off of sl earlier and earlier nowadays. i kindda feel like an old lady-- bedtime starting once the sun goes down!

or maybe i've just needed a lot of sleep as of late.

so last night was Lili's dj set. i fell asleep during the 2nd half because i'm an old lady, but the first half was of course AWESOME. not only did she play great musics, as always, but she also added in some trivia. now for those of you that were not aware, i have a love hate relationship with trivia. i hate it and i love it. i love winning i hate loosing and i hate how i'm so horrible at trivia. but for the first time EVERRRRRR on lili's trivia night did i win ONE of the answers! w00t!

there have been nights that i've been so frustrated with other people that win over and over and over and over that i will leave so upset with tears in my eyes. true story folks.

i'm overly competitive. i really do hate loosing. i like being on top with everyone looking at me... wait that sounded bad haha.


i am not sure why i masked this blog as my life in second life when i'm pretty sure i'm going to relate it all to the real life after all.

the life of tahneeta-- which is in another blog that i never update that is connected to this. that blog is filled with random bullshit and me getting fucked up over a year ago. so i don't recomend going to that blog just because its a complete and total mind fuck.


soooooo now to escape to my lovely virtual life.

lovelove & many besos.

timezone.

so maybe it is with a bit of luck that we find ourselves in positions like this where your heart pumps quick and heavy and your body just flows, going with the constant push of life.
this is where i found it, not searching or walking on a beach of sand and beauties.

it was an empty piece of land. no trees in sight. no contour of earth.

just a square. a wide open space.

and in a quick instant my blood was churning in my body, my lips were smiling behind the mask.

i cannot explain any of it, nor do i believe that the words to describe ever will come to exist. but it is felt, all around and through my skin, echoing through time.


and this is what the face of happiness feels like.

eek! a BAT!!

well, thanks to the inspiration of a few friends of mine i've decided to take a giant step and make an online blog for Miss Eeka Batz, and all of her cuteness.. errrh... my cuteness :D

blogs are an interesting subject being that i've had hundreds of them in my life but never one for EEKA.

in case you were wondering, eeka is my avatar made for second life located here:

damn that sounds dumb.

oh well.

but you know, who DOESN'T want to read the ramblings of a girl from texas who is lost on a virtual game for a good 45-85% of her day.

so here it is.


in my ears: YELLE. (go listen to her, seriously.)